_i'm the captain of this relation-ship

Well everything revolves around these anyways, especially with us kids, right? Relationships, I am talking about, of course. The stuff that only fools fall for. The kind of thing that every Hollywood film has at its essence, even the action flick doesn't come complete without the forever-sealing kiss with the hot double-D blonde at the end. Relationships dictate our everyday and our every move, and whether or not we buy into it, no matter how asexual or apathetic one may claim to be, everything revolves around l.o.v.e. for one reason, because it is the single connecting blip of humanity.

Love is reserved simply for those "idiots" who can't help but to give in to their every whim, who carry on with their arbitrary and capricious distractions that soon there after solidify into the most fundamental, patient thinkings of their undeniably detailed lifetimes. It's so hard to know that they are out there sometimes. It's difficult to know whether they are deceiving, or perfect, whether your heart is in the right place, or your touch is making you believe that you're spinning into an infinity. It may seem so real, but reality is so very relative. Who cares? Who doesn't? Who manipulates who? Who sends the texts? Who breathes heavy? Who regrets? Who is consumed in thoughts of the other? Who forgets the first hello? Who remembers everything?

At what point does the marathon end? When do we cross the finish line? Is it when we find that singular connection with someone that defines our corporal and emotional selves, or is it the race itself that keeps us running, keeps us interested, and keeps the hamster wheel of life churning towards the foreverness, inescapability and volatility of the undefined relationship? What helps us to achieve the primitive finish (I'm NAHT talking dirty here, folks, BUT it works too as per usual), going against the grain or sticking with the stream?

Wowzers, WHAT A WHIRLWIND, huh? I know you're probably thinking, "Why so serious? Aren't you just a fugly slut? Why are you writing about love?" Well, because I can guarantee one thing, us jokers are the ones who are really looking for love "in all the wrong places" (had to).

This is my take on love, my take on the relationship, rather, that is absolutely unoriginal, but somehow still pervasive throughout the times and trials of the twentysomethings that I know. Sure, there are those of us who adore the idea of comfort and content, the attractiveness of the safety net. Even still, there are individuals who like nothing more than the societal ideals of the relationship, the approval from others that spawns for the facade of the "healthy" couple. But really, when we boil it down to the conceited, fast-paced, Facebook-Offish type of relationships that a lot of us in our younger years are entering, there exists some [ALL] of us who have fallen in the idea of falling in love.

That idea, as uninspired as it may be, is our youthful obsession with falling in love. Not love itself, not the pooping in your pants in a nursing home next to your 70 year marriage type of love, but instead, the idea of the first kiss, the first bangsesh, the casual dates, the facebook stalking, the cute tweets, the showing off to your friends, the bragging to your mom and dad, the disapproval of your mom and dad, the late night phonecalls, and the overwhelming sense of lust that tickles even the darkest place inside of you (or perhaps thats just the sex again).

Call me guilty because the evidence is all over my hands (and sheets), I am a sucka for lov(ing love). Its all about the thrill of the catch, because really that's what keeps me racing. I love (HEH) it when you are the bunny and I am the greyhound, and fuck I really, really want to catch up with that mammal, until wait, I have it, well shit, now what?

Why is it that love, the most domineering factor in our young adult lives, the relationships that become dictators to our every mechanism, is something so flighty? Is it our nature, as a young, germinating generation, or is it because we are constantly seeking better?

Or is it that we are constantly seeking some sort of approval, some sort of confirmation, that we are lovable, we are able to snag that catch, we are pretty enough, witty enough, vivacious enough, to seal the deal?

All I know is what I know, and that is that I am a perpetrator of the love detonator. I am the one with the hand on the grenade, I am the one in charge, because once that power position seems to get lost in the mix, once that vulnerable transition from lust to love sets in, I have to be the one in charge, or else (self) destruction ensues. I think it is a combination of our egos, or seeking validation and our overall sense of "it always gets better" attitudes that lead us into believing that love is something that happens and fades. All the pop songs speak of a spark, well, that's far from an eternal flame. Our relationships, then, are hardly a roaring fire. Instead, they are projections of our own self-worth and our idealistic expectations onto another. They become a struggle for power amidst lust.

SO WHEN DO WE GROW UP? Scary.

In any case, in any capacity, in any relationship, one thing is for sure, we love love. We love being in love. And whether that means 70 years or 70 minutes, that love is what drives us forward and keeps us sailing. Sail on, sailors.