I feel like there is more to an open relationship than what Facebook prescribes to us, which reads loud and clear, "I love you, but I'm a whore! LoL!!" In fact, I feel like there are even more types of open relationships that the ones we necessarily give credit to (between to low budget prostitutes who seek to proclaim relationship status with someone while sucking on someone else's priveees twice a week). I think that there can be friend open relationships as well, and to be honest, I think those are even more dangerous.
I have found out about myself that I am a pretty loyal guy. I would even go as far as to say I am a mama wolf protecting her pack at times, because NOBODY will ever step on my babies toes unless its me. Then it's ok. Obv. So if no one is allowed to call you a C-word except for me, we are in the clear as friends and I will have your (bare)back until the end of days.
What really rattles me open friend relationship. Listen, I have never made the claim to not be a bit of a slore, so I can roll with the open romantic relationship as long as both sides are being honest and know exactly what's up. But the open friend relash I simple cannot relate to. Either you are my friend one hundred percent or you are not.
Friend things include:
1. returning texts/emails/facebooks/tweets/handjobs/bbms/carrier pigeon messages
2. defending you even when you are wrong (in the public sense) and then berating you for your fucked-up-ness (in private) to whip you back into shape
3. calling you out when you are an A-word
4. expecting you to call them out when they being a MotherF-word
5. being open and honest about being so far up their own asses that they cannot take the time to be a good friend to you
Simple list, right? I expect what I give. I simply find it frustrating to the upmost power when reciprocation is not had between friends. I don't do a one-sided open relationship with my friends.
So, honestly, is it too much to ask? Ryan 'O Connell, resident babe.com at Thought Catalog, recently wrote an article about Best Friends. LOVED IT. Read it. Anywho, this article really resonated with me, and to me it made sense to me that best friends just are. I get that.
So how can I honestly say I love somebody (in the friendship sense) and let them defy all of my 5 mother-f-word rules and still call them a bestie? Does that make me dumb, naive, needy or does it make me a good guy for holding out and hoping the person will come around? Am I in an abusive open friend relationship?
Help, I've fallen and I can't get up. Need answers here, people. Am I just trying to find love in a hopeless place?
19.10.11
_angry gay (grrr...)
You know what gets me angry? Like, really lights a fire under my ass? Actually sets my hairy motherfucking chest on fire and riles me up to the point that I can't control the vases flying and the incoherent back and forth between crying and yelling? Welp, nothing anymore. BUT some things do really rock my stability and those include the following:
1. poor editing on production's part
2. ignorance
3. the lack of follow-up
So here we go, come with me on the magically frustrating journey of the post-show wrap/real life rant/general misfortunes that befall the handsome hunk of brawn, brains and beast that is myself.
1. CMON, GUYS. REALLY? I mean, my hair literally changes from short to long throughout the episode. I get it, its a story line, but shouldn't that story line somehow come into play with my receding hair line. OUCHSKIES, Dr. Frank, Mr. Sweeney, can't you control your rogaine-ness? Guess not. I expected a little better, BMP.
2. IGNORE-ANTS. Ants are not my fav and they are very difficult to ignore. I mean, I already have them in my studio apartment here in sunshiney, rainbow-y WeHo, and they are harder to get rid of then that one hook up who just doesn't get it and feels the need to make eggs in the morning, grab a coffee with you and casually, mistakenly, undoubtably lying-ly not find their car so that they can pine on you for just a few more seconds in the unforgiving morning sun.
Sidenote: why the fuck would you want to look at what you rode the night before? Seems...weird. One night stand: mornings not included.
Ignorance, however is a whole 'nother blue ball game. I can't stand it. Because you know what ignorance leads to? Ignorance leads to intolerance, ignorance is a synonym, in my dick-tionary, of close-mindedness and ignorance leads to stereotyping whole populations that are comprised of very unique individuals who do not deserve to be labeled, categorized or boxed in. In fact, that is exactly what lead me to using the term "Angry Gay" on tonight's episode.
The "Angry Gay" is a longstanding stereotype that is often forced onto a person, despite their originality or their individuality. I.E. Me in the Real World house.
Let's get something straight (hah), I am not an angry person. I absolutely have issues with defensiveness and oversensitivity, but I am far from an ornery, mean, crotchety old twenty two year old.
Facing intolerance, ignorance, stereotypes and let's bake it all together and call it what it is, HATE, is never an easy thing. Being bullied is not something to take lightly, nor is it something that we are prepared emotionally to deal with.
I can write articles like the previous one all day, but who am I to sit here and preach if I do not practice my own theology. Well, that is exactly what I mean when I say the "Angry Gay." I refuse to be cast into that mold, I refuse to take on any persona that is not undeniably my own and I refuse to be anything but positive. It's the love and the positivity that make changes, not just changes for the betterment of the gay-straight alliance, but for the general betterment of our community. Our community as twentysomethings, as Americans and as global citizens. (Preachy, I know, but you're stil reading it)
The "Angry Gay" is a negative. I am a positive (but not HIV positive - whole 'nother post). SO SUCK IT (safely, of course).
3. WHY IN THE WORLD IF YOU ARE "FRIENDS" WITH SOMEONE DO THEY NOT FOLLOW UP WITH YOU? ITS A PARADOX THAT I WILL NEVER UNDERSTAND.
Having said that, the worst kind of friendship is a one-sided one. If I have any regrets at all, it is being caught up in a bad bromance and not seeing the light. I will not be stepped on, nor will I be used as a stepping stone to make you look better.
#allsimsayinis don't use and abuse your friends. Reciprocate relationships, open up to communication, and FUCKING ANSWER TEXTS.
*sighs*
*sips drink*
*prepares to go out and get it in*
xoxo
-angry gay
1. poor editing on production's part
2. ignorance
3. the lack of follow-up
So here we go, come with me on the magically frustrating journey of the post-show wrap/real life rant/general misfortunes that befall the handsome hunk of brawn, brains and beast that is myself.
1. CMON, GUYS. REALLY? I mean, my hair literally changes from short to long throughout the episode. I get it, its a story line, but shouldn't that story line somehow come into play with my receding hair line. OUCHSKIES, Dr. Frank, Mr. Sweeney, can't you control your rogaine-ness? Guess not. I expected a little better, BMP.
2. IGNORE-ANTS. Ants are not my fav and they are very difficult to ignore. I mean, I already have them in my studio apartment here in sunshiney, rainbow-y WeHo, and they are harder to get rid of then that one hook up who just doesn't get it and feels the need to make eggs in the morning, grab a coffee with you and casually, mistakenly, undoubtably lying-ly not find their car so that they can pine on you for just a few more seconds in the unforgiving morning sun.
Sidenote: why the fuck would you want to look at what you rode the night before? Seems...weird. One night stand: mornings not included.
Ignorance, however is a whole 'nother blue ball game. I can't stand it. Because you know what ignorance leads to? Ignorance leads to intolerance, ignorance is a synonym, in my dick-tionary, of close-mindedness and ignorance leads to stereotyping whole populations that are comprised of very unique individuals who do not deserve to be labeled, categorized or boxed in. In fact, that is exactly what lead me to using the term "Angry Gay" on tonight's episode.
The "Angry Gay" is a longstanding stereotype that is often forced onto a person, despite their originality or their individuality. I.E. Me in the Real World house.
Let's get something straight (hah), I am not an angry person. I absolutely have issues with defensiveness and oversensitivity, but I am far from an ornery, mean, crotchety old twenty two year old.
Facing intolerance, ignorance, stereotypes and let's bake it all together and call it what it is, HATE, is never an easy thing. Being bullied is not something to take lightly, nor is it something that we are prepared emotionally to deal with.
I can write articles like the previous one all day, but who am I to sit here and preach if I do not practice my own theology. Well, that is exactly what I mean when I say the "Angry Gay." I refuse to be cast into that mold, I refuse to take on any persona that is not undeniably my own and I refuse to be anything but positive. It's the love and the positivity that make changes, not just changes for the betterment of the gay-straight alliance, but for the general betterment of our community. Our community as twentysomethings, as Americans and as global citizens. (Preachy, I know, but you're stil reading it)
The "Angry Gay" is a negative. I am a positive (but not HIV positive - whole 'nother post). SO SUCK IT (safely, of course).
3. WHY IN THE WORLD IF YOU ARE "FRIENDS" WITH SOMEONE DO THEY NOT FOLLOW UP WITH YOU? ITS A PARADOX THAT I WILL NEVER UNDERSTAND.
Having said that, the worst kind of friendship is a one-sided one. If I have any regrets at all, it is being caught up in a bad bromance and not seeing the light. I will not be stepped on, nor will I be used as a stepping stone to make you look better.
#allsimsayinis don't use and abuse your friends. Reciprocate relationships, open up to communication, and FUCKING ANSWER TEXTS.
*sighs*
*sips drink*
*prepares to go out and get it in*
xoxo
-angry gay
_spirit d(g)ay
Original Article and More at MTVAct:
We’ve all been bullied before. We’ve been bullied because of our age, our appearance, our sexuality, our race, or that ugly flannel we wore last Tuesday and (now) totally regret buying. We’ve felt the feelings of isolation, the alienation, the loneliness, the resentment and the hurt. More than ever, with the string of abuse that is taking place towards LGBT youth in schools across the country, it is our responsibility as those who have been bullied or are being bullied currently, to break the cycle.
So how do we do it? How do we rise above the words and actions that make us feel so alone and distanced from the norm? Well, speaking from experience I can tell you, stay away from acting out, because being a bully never stops bullying, and breaking vases just makes for a bigger mess.
Any violence, physical or verbal, against intolerance and hate speaks nothing about your character; in fact it degrades your integrity. Why would we ever stoop so low as to bully someone else? The louder you yell, the less people can actually hear you, and this is not a cage fight, it's a conversation about equality and respect.
The only way to stop bullying is with love. We are responsible to love others and to let love in. By opening up and sharing ourselves, by being unapologetic for our sexuality, by remaining true to our beliefs in equality and the right to love whomever we choose, we are working hard to establish our self-confidence, and no bully can ever touch us.
I’m on your side. Your friends are on your side. And even though it may not seem like it now, there are plenty of people who have your back (except the store attendant who helped you pick out that flannel). But don’t let yourself get down, don’t feed into the bullying by fighting back, and do not ever let it defeat you. If you truly feel hopeless and singled out, turn to organizations like The Trevor Project or look for inspiration from It Gets Better. If nothing else, you will see that you are not at all alone, and that there are people who love you for every single bit of your character, whether you’re gay, straight, bisexual, black, white or red from sunburn. It’s organizations and people like this who help us to stop the cycle.
It’s amazing how people can fail to understand you because of you. Keep in mind that attitudes like these are out of your control and you can only continue on and continue to love. Bullying back is never the answer, but embracing every intricate part of you is. Love it and let others love it, too.
And you know what, rock that flannel this October 20th, because it’s #SpiritDay, and darn it, you love that purple flannel and you know it! Oh and trust me, a vaguely mauve bandana might look good with it, too!
We’ve all been bullied before. We’ve been bullied because of our age, our appearance, our sexuality, our race, or that ugly flannel we wore last Tuesday and (now) totally regret buying. We’ve felt the feelings of isolation, the alienation, the loneliness, the resentment and the hurt. More than ever, with the string of abuse that is taking place towards LGBT youth in schools across the country, it is our responsibility as those who have been bullied or are being bullied currently, to break the cycle.
So how do we do it? How do we rise above the words and actions that make us feel so alone and distanced from the norm? Well, speaking from experience I can tell you, stay away from acting out, because being a bully never stops bullying, and breaking vases just makes for a bigger mess.
Any violence, physical or verbal, against intolerance and hate speaks nothing about your character; in fact it degrades your integrity. Why would we ever stoop so low as to bully someone else? The louder you yell, the less people can actually hear you, and this is not a cage fight, it's a conversation about equality and respect.
The only way to stop bullying is with love. We are responsible to love others and to let love in. By opening up and sharing ourselves, by being unapologetic for our sexuality, by remaining true to our beliefs in equality and the right to love whomever we choose, we are working hard to establish our self-confidence, and no bully can ever touch us.
I’m on your side. Your friends are on your side. And even though it may not seem like it now, there are plenty of people who have your back (except the store attendant who helped you pick out that flannel). But don’t let yourself get down, don’t feed into the bullying by fighting back, and do not ever let it defeat you. If you truly feel hopeless and singled out, turn to organizations like The Trevor Project or look for inspiration from It Gets Better. If nothing else, you will see that you are not at all alone, and that there are people who love you for every single bit of your character, whether you’re gay, straight, bisexual, black, white or red from sunburn. It’s organizations and people like this who help us to stop the cycle.
It’s amazing how people can fail to understand you because of you. Keep in mind that attitudes like these are out of your control and you can only continue on and continue to love. Bullying back is never the answer, but embracing every intricate part of you is. Love it and let others love it, too.
And you know what, rock that flannel this October 20th, because it’s #SpiritDay, and darn it, you love that purple flannel and you know it! Oh and trust me, a vaguely mauve bandana might look good with it, too!
_duder, you started a 8L0G
I have never been one to diminish the value of the written word, nor have I been one to subscribe to it. I haven't given enough faith to the power of textual communication outside of the 140 characters of the Twatspace or the casual flip-flop of SMS back and forth between me and my unrequited, undeserving, underserving lover interest of the very second.
Writing, however, does hold a lot of power, and blogging, as it has assumed the role of internet graffiti, both important and pollutive, seems the most appropriate form of self-divulgence with a hint of a helping hand to the reader.
What am I saying in all this, o ¿lo qué estoy diciendo exactamente? Welp, not sure. No sé, Pedro.
I would like to begin this blog to avoid the decadence of head-up-my-own-ass-ery, and rather begin the blog as a form of expression, a platform if you will, to continue to expand on my time on The Real World: San Diego, and to keep progress of my time on The Real World: The Real World.
Why?
Because I am so important!
No.
Simply because I am twenty two years old. I am a work in progress - a New Jersey shopping mall under construction trying to beat the Mall of America for the top spot. I seek the truth in everything I do and give back nothing less. I am unapologetic for who I am, unwilling to forgive myself of my misgivings, and constantly trying to rearrange and grow.
And for all of this, I am on hundred percent sure that there are others who seek to do the same thing. Who seek advice, who seek a sense of community and who deserve a shot at the one pseudo-profound one liner from a random blog that helps to change their day or simply their mood in that moment. Everybody is owed that tiny game changer and I am confident that somewhere in my ramblings some person will find himself or herself feeling just that much better, or a tad more informed, or a bit less uncomfortable, than I did, or he did or she did or it did before.
Fo'get about grammar because I was never and English major. Spelling, sure I'll try.
There will be mistakes. There will be drunken posts. There will be sad, pathetic, self-indulgent, man-I-wish-I-could-turn-to-a-pint-of-ice-cream-but-who-actually-does-that-anyway-in-this-day-and-age-without-thinking-of-a-disgusting-rom-com-type posts. And I will be there to help myself, and to help you, and to offend everyone in the process.
But mostly, I will be me, and I hope that all of us can take any growing that is to be had as a twenty two year old in a new city, with reality tv in his back pocket, and education that cost far too much but means the world to him, the readiness to take on any job and the combativeness to fight until the end for what he believes in.
Cool, brah, so you've got a blog.
Writing, however, does hold a lot of power, and blogging, as it has assumed the role of internet graffiti, both important and pollutive, seems the most appropriate form of self-divulgence with a hint of a helping hand to the reader.
What am I saying in all this, o ¿lo qué estoy diciendo exactamente? Welp, not sure. No sé, Pedro.
I would like to begin this blog to avoid the decadence of head-up-my-own-ass-ery, and rather begin the blog as a form of expression, a platform if you will, to continue to expand on my time on The Real World: San Diego, and to keep progress of my time on The Real World: The Real World.
Why?
Because I am so important!
No.
Simply because I am twenty two years old. I am a work in progress - a New Jersey shopping mall under construction trying to beat the Mall of America for the top spot. I seek the truth in everything I do and give back nothing less. I am unapologetic for who I am, unwilling to forgive myself of my misgivings, and constantly trying to rearrange and grow.
And for all of this, I am on hundred percent sure that there are others who seek to do the same thing. Who seek advice, who seek a sense of community and who deserve a shot at the one pseudo-profound one liner from a random blog that helps to change their day or simply their mood in that moment. Everybody is owed that tiny game changer and I am confident that somewhere in my ramblings some person will find himself or herself feeling just that much better, or a tad more informed, or a bit less uncomfortable, than I did, or he did or she did or it did before.
Fo'get about grammar because I was never and English major. Spelling, sure I'll try.
There will be mistakes. There will be drunken posts. There will be sad, pathetic, self-indulgent, man-I-wish-I-could-turn-to-a-pint-of-ice-cream-but-who-actually-does-that-anyway-in-this-day-and-age-without-thinking-of-a-disgusting-rom-com-type posts. And I will be there to help myself, and to help you, and to offend everyone in the process.
But mostly, I will be me, and I hope that all of us can take any growing that is to be had as a twenty two year old in a new city, with reality tv in his back pocket, and education that cost far too much but means the world to him, the readiness to take on any job and the combativeness to fight until the end for what he believes in.
Cool, brah, so you've got a blog.
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