I feel like there is more to an open relationship than what Facebook prescribes to us, which reads loud and clear, "I love you, but I'm a whore! LoL!!" In fact, I feel like there are even more types of open relationships that the ones we necessarily give credit to (between to low budget prostitutes who seek to proclaim relationship status with someone while sucking on someone else's priveees twice a week). I think that there can be friend open relationships as well, and to be honest, I think those are even more dangerous.
I have found out about myself that I am a pretty loyal guy. I would even go as far as to say I am a mama wolf protecting her pack at times, because NOBODY will ever step on my babies toes unless its me. Then it's ok. Obv. So if no one is allowed to call you a C-word except for me, we are in the clear as friends and I will have your (bare)back until the end of days.
What really rattles me open friend relationship. Listen, I have never made the claim to not be a bit of a slore, so I can roll with the open romantic relationship as long as both sides are being honest and know exactly what's up. But the open friend relash I simple cannot relate to. Either you are my friend one hundred percent or you are not.
Friend things include:
1. returning texts/emails/facebooks/tweets/handjobs/bbms/carrier pigeon messages
2. defending you even when you are wrong (in the public sense) and then berating you for your fucked-up-ness (in private) to whip you back into shape
3. calling you out when you are an A-word
4. expecting you to call them out when they being a MotherF-word
5. being open and honest about being so far up their own asses that they cannot take the time to be a good friend to you
Simple list, right? I expect what I give. I simply find it frustrating to the upmost power when reciprocation is not had between friends. I don't do a one-sided open relationship with my friends.
So, honestly, is it too much to ask? Ryan 'O Connell, resident babe.com at Thought Catalog, recently wrote an article about Best Friends. LOVED IT. Read it. Anywho, this article really resonated with me, and to me it made sense to me that best friends just are. I get that.
So how can I honestly say I love somebody (in the friendship sense) and let them defy all of my 5 mother-f-word rules and still call them a bestie? Does that make me dumb, naive, needy or does it make me a good guy for holding out and hoping the person will come around? Am I in an abusive open friend relationship?
Help, I've fallen and I can't get up. Need answers here, people. Am I just trying to find love in a hopeless place?
I as a good friend that i once was never expected my friends to return what i gave them... id drop anything for a friend.. no matter how stupid it was (now that i think about it i can say stupid) but never once have i had a friend return my devotion that i gave them to me... i think ur confusing ur definition of a friend for family. (Except the dirties u said lol) but some friends are good enough to be considered family and those are the ones u wana keep.. ive been betrayed by many friends and have learned alot.. but to opinionate ur open friendship... those dnt even deserve the friendship title they are just ppl that hang around wen its convenient for them. Those arent friends find ppl that cant wait to tell u how their day went or wen they listen to a song call u no matter what time or where they are at.. and wen u find ppl that think alike u to where its kinda scary.. keep those and dnt let them go...nt sure if i covered the question but i did get to rant.. yay me
ReplyDelete-vince
As I was reading I was like "open friend relationship" is he nuts? But you might be onto something.
ReplyDeleteWhen I was younger I believed friendship was law. Especially if they are considered my best friend. Then I realized the older I got friendships can be stronger than a phone call or returned email. You are 100 percent correct, but there are some friendships that have their own set of rules.
One of my best friends since college our bond is STILL strong and we talk here and there, but we both understand we are busy. Ya know? The loyalty thing is what you hit on the head though. That's huge for me. I think it bonds two people closer when you have secrets between each other no one else knows. Not even from a "blackmail I have dirt on you standpoint" but from a "no one else knows me like you do."
I think I may wanna hang out with you haha
I am almost to my three month mark in my new city, Nashville, and I'm nervous that I'll have a three month slump!!
ReplyDeleteSome friendships just operate differently than others. What's important is that you both can see eye to eye on how it's gonna work out. If you can't, then maybe you should start thinking about if the friendship is even worth your time, energy, and feelings. (And money too-- chillin wit friends aint always cheap)
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